These are some favorite puns that I created.
Getting the Light to Work
I walked into a room and saw several men on a ladder trying to get a bulb to light. They were turning it this way and that but the bulb stayed dark. “What are you folks doing,” I exclaimed. “That bulb is obviously burned out!” One of the men responded. “Yes, we know that. But we’ve heard that many hands make light work!”
The Versatile Bee
I went into the office this morning and was surprised to see a large bee on the desk. I was even more astonished to hear him speak. He looked me straight in the eyes and announced, “Don’t mess with me, sir. I’m not your ordinary bee. I’m a killer bee! Get that? K-I-L-L-E-R.” Then he stated with a mischievous grin, “Not only that, but I’m also a spelling bee!”
A Good Explanation
Fred had been arrested and was being questioned in the interrogation room. The detective was saying, “Fred, you were overheard admitting that you had stolen Bill’s hairpiece. How do you respond to that? “I can’t respond to that,” said Fred. “All I know is that I didn’t do it.” Then he brightened and exclaimed, “Oh, I know what happened. I was talking to my friend Helen and told her that I needed to get some money fast. I had bills to pay.”
I went to my friend’s home to visit and saw there were a couple of hounds sleeping near the fireplace. I remarked at how handsome they were. “Yes,” he responded. “They are good looking but they talk in their sleep and they tell the most outrageous lies.” I was amazed. “They talk? They lie?” I stammered. Just then one of them spoke and said, “I was with Columbus on the Santa Maria.” The other responded saying, “That’s nothing. I was with Eisenhower at West Point.” I said to my friend, “Those dogs are unbelievable. Do you do anything special when they tell such stories?” “No, he responded, my motto is to let sleeping dog lie!”
Getting the Parachute to Obey
I’m a sky diver. Like most sports people, I’m superstitious. For example, on the day of the jump, after I have packed my chute, I stick it with a pin just to show who’s boss. The last time I did this was this morning. I packed my parachute, stuck it with a pin, and made the parachute jump!